i would like to write slashfic

[Zaphod]

c'mon, it must take effort to be that ridiculous. i'm going to write something about how skeletor turned evil because man-at-arms wouldn't share prince adam with him. and orko has a massive dick. you only thought it was his wand.

and skeletor accidentally enters our world and fucks ghandi. then they both wind up in lord of the rings and fuck the balrog.

[anarky]

Please tell me it includes this scene:

"Aaah," said Skeletor, towel-drying his cranium. "After that last time jump, I felt the need to get the Balrog's jizz out of my joints."

Ghandi was already in bed when Skeletor lay down beside him, reading the liner notes from the CD's he had picked up at the record store. "I rather like this year 1995," he said to Skeletor. "Deadeye Dick especially, he speaks to a place deep in my heart."

"I'm afraid I don't understand," responded Skeletor with as bewildered a look as his skull could muster.

"Because I do not like meat," said Ghandi, reaching into Skeletor's shorts and grabbing his rubbery blue penis, "but I sure like the bone."

[Negative Boy]

Governor Chris Christie spooned up behind Captain America. He reached around and gently cupped Cap's gigantic balls.
"I figured these would've been drained dry by now. How are they so huge?" asked Chris, nuzzling Cap's neck.
"I come from WWII. We don't do tiny balls." said Cap "Now put the rubber ball back in your mouth fatman."
Chris Christie giggled with delight and rolled over, pointing his big pasty white rump at Cap's smiling face.