GIJoe

[anarky]

I didn't read it, but CBR has a preview of GIJoe II #9.

Sort of funny how it seems like everything has gone from "major reboot" and "complete redesign" to "Cobra is using bizarre shit like Deviant mechs and Mambas."

I point to the Mamba as the crowning achievement of everything that was wrong with Joe in the late 80s. Even more than the fucking Eco-Warriors. No fucking way that thing would fly. If you could manage to sync the rotors, you had enough smarts to make something a fuckload more dangerous than a goofy-looking helicopter.

[jjreason]

Well I'm done Joe 1-7, Snake Eyes 1-5 & Cobra 1-5 (minus the 4 issues I was missing - they're all from the first half of the series).

So far so good. I almost need a running scoresheet to see who's been whacked though - I'm sure there is something out there if I look around. Likely be caught up by night's end. Damn shame I didn't look for that 0 issue - didn't know it existed until I was already reading & they mentioned it. ><

[Rollo Tomassi]

The bodycount is wacky. Because mostly its a bunch of guys that are just a codename before they get whacked. But occasionally they'd throw a "Classic" codename getting whacked, even though that character hadn't had any more screentime than the made-up newbs. And then a couple times they whack "new" characters that were actually built up in the first 3 IDW series. And then they have the "oh man, we just lost 100 guys!" and they don't even bother with names.

[jjreason]

There was a lot going on. All in all, it was a very very easy 20 issues to get through. I'll look forward to continuing on with all 3 books for Cobra Command.

[anarky]

I still say they need to introduce Shooter, Mangler, and Cool Breeze, send them on a mission with Falcon, Cross Country, Dodger, and Dusty, and have them be the only three to survive. Then keep them on forever.

[anarky]

Volume 3 of the continuation. I believe it's 166-170.

First up, the Gallant variant (?) cover to the one issue with Baroness in front of Destro's fireplace is fucking awesome. At first it looks like the typical "picture of Baroness that reminds us all why our generation is the first to find glasses sexy as hell." But all the sort of surreal stuff going on is really damned clever. Firefly and Crystal Ball as decorations, and that's not a bearskin rug, but one of the Arctic Joes' gear. (Honestly, there's Frostbite and Snow Job, and I doubt anyone ever gave a shit about the others. Where the fuck was Snow Job, anyway?)

It's really obvious that Larry Hama didn't go back and read all his previous issues. First, we get the huge Sneak Peek fuck-up (and I understand that an early version of one of the later covers had either Heavy Metal or Crankcase before he was replaced by Wildcard). Granted, there's what looks to be an awesome retcon in the works, but, basically, dude screwed up. But, to me, the verification is Snake Eyes. It's absolutely clear that he's wearing a rubber mask, only he should have no reason to. Which is a bit weird; Hama obviously remembers some stuff (like "I fucking blew up Darklon because he was absolutely retarded"), so you'd think he'd remember one of the most important details about the guy who's obviously his favorite. (Seriously, Simon Furman's admittedly well-placed hard-on for Grimlock pales next to Hama's equally well-placed raging stiffy for Snake Eyes.)

Crystal Ball is a fucking loser character. It's like Hama tossed him in here as a joke just to contrast with the new-continuity version who's as cool as the original is lame. G.I. Jane even calls him a loser or something like that.

Speaking of that little subplot, Firefly is vintage Hama here. You remember him being this uber-badass, and then you re-read the old series, and he's got a fair share of ineptitude to him, as well as a habit of cracking stupid jokes in the middle of a firefight. I guess to balance the fact that, without it, Firefly would totally pwn 3/4 of the Joes in a single issue.

So who was Firefly working for the whole time? Last I recall, he wasn't on the best terms with Cobra. But he clearly knows what they're up to.

Nice way to kill off Dr. Venom for good. And to explain why Mindbender would abandon a device that's so clearly something he'd otherwise devote the rest of his life to.

Loved Shipwreck here. I seem to recall reading somewhere that Hama hated him, which is why he never used him. But then, years later, he watched some of the Sunbow toons finally, and fell in love with the character. The interactions with Polly are definite Sunbow. Also, a minor detail, but great to see him speak Spanish, even if just a little.

I also noticed Deep Six has clearly been to therapy or something, as he can hold a conversation and doesn't creep everyone out. (And, not entirely related, Flint and Lady Jaye don't seem to be quite as close as before. They almost seem like they're merely flirting here, not in a serious relationship.)

Since they're dredging characters up, you know who I want to see? Major Bludd. Unless he showed up in the last few issues, I don't even think he was still in Cobra's employ at the end of the original series. Duke, Falcon, and/or Cross Country getting in some kind of confrontation with the Crimson Twins would be cool at some point, too.

Even if he screwed up every other character, though, Destro was so dead-on to what he's always been, that alone could make up for it. The submarine surfacing just so Destro could look at and show himself to the Joes before leaving was, well, perfect. There's his honor, the Baroness, and his family business, in that order, and everyone else seems to screw that up. (I initially put Baroness before his personal honor, but then I remembered the ending of The Snake Eyes Trilogy and had to revise that. Baroness simply doesn't get in the way of his honor most of the time.)

[Rollo Tomassi]

Personally my favorite Hama character is Cobra Commander. His vocab is so hilariously obscure. It makes me think this series should be required reading in grade schools so kids can form a large vocabulary early in life and not have to subsist on LOL and kthxbye in their adult lives.

[anarky]

Partly for my own curiosity, partly so JJ will know whether to buy one of the umpteen million remaindered copies....

Did Hearts & Minds ever amount to anything? None of the stories with existing characters seemed to fit in the IDW-verse, and the stories with "new" characters were rather lame. I know there were two or three that I recall liking, but I can only remember the one with the various Cobra troopers and their backgrounds as being any good. Lots better than the fat black Firefly, asshole Spirit, suicidal Tripwire (who ain't suicidal in the main book!), or family man Major Bludd (who, I guess, commutes to a fucking Siberian gulag every day?).

But, seriously, when Borders went under, stacks of Hearts & Minds sat around until they were 90% off. I went in a few and remember looking at the graphic novel section, only seeing 10-20 H&M, and thinking, "God damn, I could've waited a month and bought this for cheap, especially with how fucking mediocre it was."

[Rollo Tomassi]

As far as I know, they've never referenced any of it. But JJ should avoid it based on the 50% Chaykin art alone. Damn, that shits ugly. But then, JJs buying Avengers:1959, so maybe he loves Chaykin's big fat chin ugly artwork. People with discerning tastes sure as hell don't.

[jjreason]

I can certainly give or take Chaykin's art. He's a legacy though, so he's going to continue working as long as he wants - his name sells books somehow. For what it's worth - and it ain't worth much - his Wolverine & Nick Fury stuff actually kinda fits the grittiness of those characters & stories.

[Rollo Tomassi]

SPOILER ALERT!

Avoid reading the 'Buy Pile' this week, anarky. As he has Cobra Annual 2012 on his list, and names the new Cobra Commander.

[anarky]

I'd already given up on that column after the last spoiler, but thanks for the heads-up.

[Stormshadow]

*Ahem*

Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow #13
Chuck Dixon (w) • Robert Atkins (a) • Atkins x 2 (c)
"Serpent's Shadow," part 1! SNAKE EYES returns to Japan to re-join the Arashikage clan to team with STORM SHADOW. Their target: the new COBRA COMMANDER! Will the most dangerous JOE turn his back on his loyalties and his friends just to bring down the new COBRA leader? Only HE knows! And G.I. JOE master penciller Robert Atkins is back on art!
FC • 32 pages • $3.99
*Variant Covers:
Variant Steve Ellis cover!
Variant Black & White Steve Ellis cover!

Snake Eyes becomes Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow with this issue!
All the G.I. JOE titles this month have two foil character covers! Collect all six!

Once again, in case you missed it.

Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow #13

"Serpent's Shadow," part 1! SNAKE EYES returns to Japan to re-join the Arashikage clan to team with STORM SHADOW.

Snake Eyes becomes Snake Eyes & Storm Shadow with this issue!

Neener Neener Neener! Lala lala ha ha ha! Someone named Nate can't carry a book by themselves and they need to bring someone with previous ongoing series experience to prop up his book!
Ha ha lala ha ha ha!!
Suck on it, church mouse!

[RoIIo Tomassi]

Okay first of all, your "ongoing" was seven issues. Which is a glorified miniseries. Quit blowing it out of proportion.
Second, it sold like ass, and many Joe completists don't have a full run because they couldn't track down all the issues.

And most importantly third, you've got second billing on the cover. You are essentially the Robin to his Batman. The Bucky to his Cap. The Jubilee to his Wolverine. You have nothing to be celebrating about.

[anarky]

What the hell is Danger Girl?

http://robot6.comicbookresources.com/20 ... e-century/

Okay, I know it's a comic about female agents or spies or something, and is slightly over a decade old. I just want to find out if this is set in a particular Joe continuity and I'll need to get it, or if I can pass on it. (The original series never looked too impressive to me. I'd be willing to give it a shot if anyone here recommends it highly, though.)

If its in-continuity, I'm hoping it's like Transformers/Avengers, and can be easily skipped.