FESTIVUS! (For the rest of us)

[Zero]

WE SHALL BEGIN WITH THE AIRING OF GRIEVANCES!

I GOT A LOT OF PROBLEMS WITH YOU PEOPLE. AND NOW YOU’RE GONNA HEAR ABOUT IT!

VYN- IT’S GROSS WHEN YOU CLIP YOUR NAILS IN THE TOILET AND THEN DON’T FLUSH. THAT “I’M SAVING WATER” EXCUSE DOESN’T CUT IT. IT’S NASTY.

JJREASON- STOP CLOGGING THE SHOWER DRAIN WITH ALL YOUR BACK HAIR.

ANARKY- STOP USING SO MUCH WATER OR WHATEVER IT IS YOU USE WHEN YOU MAKE SCRAMBLED EGGS. RUNNY EGGS ARE GROSS.

RAN- AFTER ALL THIS TIME, AND YOU’VE YET TO OFFER ANY OF US A TRAIN RIDE. INCREDIBLY SELFISH.

DIABOLICAL- WE ALL KNOW YOU’RE CHEATING AT SCRABBLE. YOU CONVENIENTLY “CHECK YOUR WORK E-MAIL” ON YOUR PHONE WHEN A WORD IS CALLED INTO QUESTION. YOU ARE NOT FOOLING ANYONE.

TOM FOOLERY- STOP LEAVING THE GREEN SKITTLES IN THE BAG. PUNK BITCH. PUNK ASS PUNK BITCH.

[jjreason]

That hair is from me furiously scrubbing ass crack. My back is (mostly) hair-free. I fully expect you to improve your spying on me & my hygiene habits in the new year.