the vynsane asylum

i was visiting a sick aunt who lives next door to anarky. while lounging on the patio, sipping mint juleps, i heard an awful grunting from the yard next door. i looked over the fence, and what did i see, but anarky, completely naked, lying on his belly, grunting and thrusting. upon closer inspection, he had his hard-on stuck into a hole.

"what ya doing there, anarky?" i asked.

"i'm fucking the whole god damned world!!!!" he shouted back.

"well," i said, "you may want to be careful, because that's an ant hill. a fire ant hill." i went inside to talk with auntie hilda, and we waited for the awful screams when the ants got to anarky's wiener, which they did.

so if anarky says his dick hurts, now you know why.

I'm confused. Where does the "awful" part come in?

Zaphod, is your aunt the neighbor with the..ahem...Garbage Can...issues?

Fucking liar.

I wasn't naked. I was wearing socks and a Kermit the Frog mask.

Normally, I'd make a joke about making sweet love to a hole. Well, Global Warming is really what is fucking Mother Earth and that's not funny.




















Besides, I was busy getting a blow job from Zaphod's mom.

RoIIo Tomassi wrote:I'm confused. Where does the "awful" part come in?

because the fucking asshole didn't share!

Tom Foolery wrote:Zaphod, is your aunt the neighbor with the..ahem...Garbage Can...issues?

no, but she did once stop up the garbage disposal with used condoms. still haven't figured that one out.

anarky wrote:I wasn't naked. I was wearing socks and a Kermit the Frog mask.

sorry, i thought it was your face. it's understandable, right?

The Grin wrote:Besides, I was busy getting a blow job from Zaphod's mom.

so that's why she didn't answer the phone when i called to find out if she could get me some fries from hardees. selfish bitch.

I bet that sort of thing never happens to Señor Assbutt.

No, he just gets confused and says, "Now, what is my ass again? A nose? An elbow? DAMMIT!! I can never remember!!"