NO! (Don't shoot me in the face! The Punisher Topic)

[anarky]

What the fuck?

Was there only one copy printed and it includes a secret number you can call whenever you want and Eminem immediately drives to your house with a pizza and then gives you a handjob while you eat?

Fuck.

Maybe it's because he's an Oscar winner. I still can't fucking believe that's a true statement.

[Diabolical]

I remember the mini comic that came with the 2004 DVD.
Actually, I don't remember it - there wasn't one in mine and I couldn't find anyone to call/email about it back then.

Bitches.

[Tom Foolery]

The final issue of Jason Aaron’s Punisher series came out today.

Wretched. And the cherry on top was the little note Aaron wrote in the afterward calling it the best thing he’s done in the twenty years he’s been writing comics. Feh. Fuck off with that shit.

This entire 12 issue series has missed the mark and basically ignored 40+ years worth of other writers’ stories defining Frank so they can bury the character. Then they don’t even have the balls to give him a definitive send off. Double feh.

[Diabolical]

Yeah, this whole 12+ issue run has been really painful to read. Like FrankenCastle levels of painful.

It's a good thing the real Frank is still in Stark's custom prison at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

[Tom Foolery]

I always lol at that because Lake Michigan is just so fucking random.

[Tom Foolery]

The wheel never stops turning….

[Diabolical]

With those guns, it's probably someone REALLY stupid, like Cable.

[Diabolical]

Just some new schmuck.
A retired SHIELD agent.

https://www.marvel.com/articles/comics/ ... P6HLRMbsAU

[Tom Foolery]

The part where he’s like “this guy is the Danny Ketch to Castle’s Johnny Blaze” making a Ghost Rider/Punisher analogy while completely forgetting they already have plenty of established successors/legacy characters to work with.
I’d much rather read a Rachel Cole-Alves led ongoing series than some new schmuck.

[Diabolical]

I’d much rather read a Rachel Cole-Alves led ongoing series than some new schmuck.

Amen.

I still stand by my belief that the real Frank is still in Stark's underwater prison at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

[Tom Foolery]

I’d much rather read a Rachel Cole-Alves led ongoing series than some new schmuck.

Amen.

I still stand by my belief that the real Frank is still in Stark's underwater prison at the bottom of Lake Michigan.

I’ll expand on this theory by saying the impostor Frank is a Clone the Jackal created, thus bringing those two characters full circle.

[Tom Foolery]

Read the new Punisher today.
The ex-SHIELD agent’s family is killed in an explosion. Since his body wasn’t in the rubble of their house, he’s automatically the prime suspect(lol what??). With the help of his former handler at SHIELD(aka his “Microchip” she’s called Triple A) he’s tracking down the guy that blew up his house. He takes out some Inner Demon goons and kills(?) That won’t last) Calvin Zabo aka Mr. Hyde with an overdose of MGH before tracking down the bomber. The guy takes a hostage and Joe is forced to kill him even though bringing him in alive would’ve exonerated him. So now he’s on the run! And trying to figure out who hired the guy he just killed that killed his family. He also throws out shitty one-liners while killing bad guys. Not cheesy ones, just shitty.

Since we never meet his family we don’t care about them. And he doesn’t seem to care too much either. There is not even the slightest hint of grief at having his whole world upended. Oh and the press is calling him the Punisher because the ballistic plates on his armor resemble the skull face according to some witness. And then it immediately catches on with EVERYONE and he does nothing to dissuade the comparison.

It’s a lackluster shitshow. Still better than Aaron’s last series which actively shit on Frank’s legacy. This is more like fanfic that should have a different title and Marvel wanted to use the Punisher brand.

[Diabolical]

It was shit. Felt like the 90s nonsense without the cheese.

And that Russian guy that killed his family?
His name is Sergei Federov.
Come on...

[Tom Foolery]

Just when you thought the new Punisher book couldn’t get stupider, the solicits for the upcoming issues reveal he’s fighting a secret terrorist organization…codenamed….J.I.G.S.A.W.

Yikes.

[Diabolical]

It's like a parallel reality where everything is stupid.