What's up with the pathetic remakes of shit

[anarky]

Just for a counterbalance, all remakes/reboots/sequels decades after the fact aren't shit.



Fuck. Yes.

[Tom Foolery]

Damn dirty apes.

[Snigtad Flornbi]

GOD DAM IT THEY DID IT AGIN!! THEIR R NO APES IN THE TRAILOR, JUST FUCKING MONKEES!!

I FUCKING HATE FUCKING MONKES!!!!

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[Diabolical]

Not a remake, but the original shitty version of The Fantastic Four is getting a documentary called Doomed!

[anarky]

Okay, here's a question.

There have been a ton of remakes, particularly 80s remakes, lately.

Have any actually equaled the original, much less improved upon it?

I'm not counting the new Apes movies that I brought up before, since they're sequels that are far removed from the original movie (real world time), or Dredd, which Foolery brought up, since it's a new movie based on the same source material as an earlier movie.

I don't deny that remakes can be better, but I can't think of any recent ones that have been better. And most, at least that I've seen, have been much worse.

[Ran]

I googled movie remakes.

http://www.businessinsider.com/10-movie ... al-2013-10
http://www.rottentomatoes.com/guides/be ... 50_movies/
http://movies.about.com/od/toppicks/tp/best-remakes.htm

There are some more recent movies on the lists. None of them appealed to me so I haven't seen them. Actually, I'd watch True Grit if I was flipping through the channels and it was on. But, I have no desire to see Tom Cruise in War of the Worlds or Peter Jackson's King Kong.

Also found a wikipedia page.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_film_remakes

[anarky]

The third link lost all credibility when it said Star Wars was a remake of The Hidden Fortress. Nope. It borrows from it, but borrows just as much from about a half dozen other movies. But no one's calling it a remake of Triumph of the Will.

However, it is also the only one that considers The Magnificent Seven a remake, which the others should, since they list other remakes of foreign films. Go figure.

I forgot True Grit, which is supposed to be great. However, I wouldn't consider it a remake in the same sense, since both film versions are based on a novel. Same would go for Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

So, barring those two (and, fuck it, the Burton Chocolate Factory is a lot better than the original film version if you look past the catchy Oompa Loompa songs and take off the nostalgia goggles), and looking only at remakes of films that actually were films and not adaptations to begin with, it looks like none of the 21st century remakes have had any reason to be made. Sad.

Though I'll admit King Kong was decent. Didn't touch the original, but was a lot better than the 70s version.

[Diabolical]

Rotten Tomatoes has a list.
There are a few I disagree with and a few I didn't realize were remakes (like 12 Monkeys).
And some aren't remakes - they're different adaptations.

Best Remakes: 50 Years, 50 Movies

[Tom Foolery]

12 Monkeys is a "remake" of a French short film from the 60s or early 70s that's like 10-15 minutes long and is told thru a series of still images with dialogue over them. It's a real artsy-fartsy film. It's more of an inspiration than a remake. That's like saying the Millennium Falcon is a 'remake' of a cheeseburger.

[Senor JabbaJohnL]

I forgot True Grit, which is supposed to be great. However, I wouldn't consider it a remake in the same sense, since both film versions are based on a novel. Same would go for Willy Wonka/Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Though I'll admit King Kong was decent. Didn't touch the original, but was a lot better than the 70s version.

I didn't feel the new version of True Grit added anything, really – almost the same movie, just maybe directed a little better, if anything. Well, and it doesn't start out with a kitschy song. But the old one was perfectly fine.

I really liked the 2005 King Kong when it came out, though I haven't seen it in almost as long. Same for Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Both of those were different enough from the originals to feel worthwhile, IMO.

[anarky]

The latest trailer for Godzilla has made me shut up my naysaying.

Why the fuck didn't they say "Ken Watanabe" from the get go?

[Diabolical]

They sold a ticket when I saw the name Bryan Cranston.

Godzilla vs Heisenberg, bitch.

[Ran]

The latest trailer for Godzilla has made me shut up my naysaying.

Why the fuck didn't they say "Ken Watanabe" from the get go?

If you are looking at something to say nay to, how about the sequels for either Goonies or Mrs. Doubtfire?

[anarky]

Goonies II, I must say, has some potential. It could be potential to suck, but there is potential.

Mrs Doubtfire II, I can only say "What the fuck?"

[Tom Foolery]

22 JumpStreet is the sequel to 21 JumpStreet where the fat guy and the popular guy go undercover as students. Except this time the popular guy is Oscar-darling Jonah Hill and the fat guy is Channing 'I gained sympathy weight with my pregnant GF' Tatum. Fucking pudge.